I read my friend's blog today... she's much younger than me and lived most her life in Chiang Mai... BUT... we seem to be experiencing some of the same type of issues...
I love my friend Autumn, she's like family to me, why? Because when you live in a country different to your passport country you make friends with people who understand how you feel, then they become FAMILY!
Sometimes people here say to me (in a loving and caring way), "Don't worry, you'll make new friends in time", what they don't realise is that it's not so much friends I've left behind, it's family.
Autumn and others now live in the US, others still live in Thailand, a very special friend is leaving mid-year to go back to Switzerland, another leaves around the same time to go back to Seattle for who knows how long... talk about your family living all over New Zealand?!!! Mine live all over the world!!!
Tears and sobs begin to well up in me as I come to understand that maybe I'll never see any of them again, not like 'real' family, who somehow you always get to see again eventually.... and you know what? It hurts so much sometimes that most the time I don't even think about it!!! Not like Autumn, who, bummer for her, is so much younger than me and isn't quite so expert and suppressing things....
To all my family in Thailand, if I don't seem to get in touch with you as much as you thought I would, just drop me a line, encourage me to stop the suppression (and live through the pain to get to the other side...) and let's try to keep in touch, let's try to eventually see each other again... just like real family.
Love you all.
Amen, Amen and Amen. Feeling every word.
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